


Make Love to Me

by Michi27



Series: The Impossible, True [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 69, A little bit of plot, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Bottoming from the Top, Cuddling, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, If you don't know Tricia ignore me and read on, Intense Sex, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessiveness, Power Top, Riding, Rimming, Sixty-nine, Some angst, Switching, Top Castiel, Top Dean, doggie, realizing halfway through writing serious conversation mid-sex I've turned into Tricia, sappy boys, serious conversation during sex, the switch is strong with this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 23:20:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13891263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michi27/pseuds/Michi27
Summary: Castiel is in love with Dean, and he wants so badly to be able to touch him, hold him through the night. So he's made a decision that he can live with. But can Dean?





	Make Love to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really, really bad at writing dark!Dean. He's an incredibly emotional dude, okay?? I figure, he's grown up as an demon, and he's lived longer and had much more experience with it than season 10's Demon!Dean so, for the most part, he controls his dark side.
> 
> Or in other words, I'm really, really bad at writing dark!Dean. He's mostly just angsty. Sorry *wince* I swear I intended to write him darker, but he's too much in love with Cas to be.
> 
> Also, if you're here just for the smut, it takes a while to really get down to it because these boys are very emotional. Again *wince* sorry? (*cough*notsorry*cough*) But they do fuck twice (with sleep in between).
> 
> Also, brief note, they only make a quick appearance, but I thought I'd let y'all know that the angel wings are only visible in heaven or hell. Dean, as a demon, could only see them as "shadow wings" right before Cas was about to fly (or just when he landed).
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3 And please let me know what you think in the comments <3 Love you all

He didn't really have anything to take, even if he wanted to. Or was allowed to. The socks were his, the blade was his, the coat, his. Aside from his rank these things were all he owned.

"You sure about this, Cassie? You know the big boys upstairs won't be happy when they find out what you've done. They won't let you come back when you're old and gnarly." Gabriel hopped up onto the counter of the bar in the heaven they were both currently inhabiting and fluffed up his great white wings. This was a protective gesture, and instinctual movement of his inner feelings. Gabriel was concerned, despite the casual tone he was trying to inflect. And Castiel appreciated that he cared. But...

"I am, _Gabby."_ Gabriel snorted at the nickname, and Cas smiled. His demon was a good influence on him. "This isn't a decision I make lightly. I know what I will be losing, and... most of it I won't miss. Angels are cold beings, Gabriel. When I'm on earth, with him, I feel things I never imagined before."

Gabriel looked sad yet understanding as one of the few other angels of heaven to spend enough time on earth to really understand what it was to feel. "What about your pretty-boy wings?" he asked sadly.

Cas arched his shoulders automatically, his wings shaking and puffing up, and he looked back at them. They were midnight black at the crests, fading into shades of gray in the down. "I will miss my wings," he said wistfully. "And you."

"Me?" Gabriel asked, like he was surprised.

"Of course, Gabriel. You mean more to me than any other angel." His head tilted with his confusion. "I had assumed you knew that. And once heaven has rejected me officially, I'm sure you won't be allowed to visit. I will miss you terribly. That is what I regret the most."

Gabe's eyes seemed to glisten as Cas before scratching the back of his head. He tried to laugh, but it came out a little choked. "Damn the bureaucracy! I make my own rules, Cassie, and when I wanna see you, I'm gonna damn well see you."

A fond smile spread on Cas' face. He wasn't totally sure it would really be possible, but Gabriel was in the habit of cojoling whatever he wanted so... "In that case, I expect regular visits."

"You better believe it!" Warm appreciation filled Cas' chest as he nodded an agreement and then let the silence fall around them. The reality of what he was about to do weighed on Castiel. It wouldn't be painless, falling. But he had endured worse for Dean, and he would again. He glanced around him, like he may be forgetting something, but there was nothing else to do. He had all he owned or wanted. "It's time."

Gabe looked at him with all seriousness for once and nodded. "You know I'll help you, but I have to ask one last time, Cassie. Are you _sure?"_

With respect to Gabriel, Castiel closed his eyes and really thought about it. No more heaven. Wings. Power. A limited human body. Restricted, to no contact, with any of his angelic brothers or sisters.

And no more wars. And no more expectation to blindly follow orders. No more endless heavens and none of them his own. A chance to choose, to taste, to feel.

And Dean.

Dean's touch. Dean's smell on his skin. Dean's body wrapped up in his. Lazy kisses. Tangled legs.

He opened his eyes. "I've never been more sure of anything."

 

 

Cas had chosen the meeting place this time. A motel in Texas. Cheap and grungy, but still better than at least half the other places they'd met each other. Hell, they'd had sex in a cave before. Granted, Dean had brought a memory foam mattress--he always brought a mattress--but still.

Cas had texted him a half hour ago, telling him he'd already arrived and the room number, along with the messages, _I can't wait to see you_ and, _Drive faster_. It made Dean smile at how anxious he was. Ok, so yes, they were _always_ anxious to see each other, there was an _itch_ under Dean's skin whenever they were apart, like he was forgetting something or... missing someone, but it wasn't often Cas verbally expressed his excitement and it had Dean weighing down on his accelerator, unwilling to leave his beloved Baby, but pushing her faster and faster.

And now he was here, pulling into the parking lot and circling around to the right door, parking by the Lincoln Continental already in front of it. He grabbed the bag he had tossed into the backseat and knocked on the door. It was like a split-second after he lifted his fist, that the door swung open wide, and Castiel was standing there in--was that _flannel?!--wearing_ the biggest fucking smile Dean had ever seen on his face, wide and gummy, his nose scrunching adorably at how big it was. And aside from his exuberance, something else seemed.. slightly off, but Dean didn't get a chance to pay attention because he was smiling back automatically. How could he resist that look in Cas' gorgeous eyes? "Heya, Cas."

The words were barely out of his mouth when Cas fisted a hand in his shirt and tugged him inside, throwing the door shut. His other arm went around Dean's neck, and he pulled him down until their lips met, and--

and--a-and--

And there was the spark of desire he always felt, a happy grunt from Cas' throat, but there was no shock of pain, no heat, no burn.

Dean's bag fell to the ground on his gasp, and he shoved Cas back, pulling the demon killing blade from the back of his pants, his eyes flicking black as he growled, "What the hell are you?"

Cas--or not-Cas--looked mildly surprised, but not frightened and still wearing this ridiculously _happy_ expression. What the hell!? Whatever this thing was didn't get to _do_ that, to wear Cas' face and _look_ at him like that. "Dean, it's me." He--it--said. Then it laughed a little, low in its throat and rubbed a hand over his eyes and forehead. "I'm such an idiot. I should have known you'd react like this." He straightened up and spread his arms. "Look at me, Dean. Really look at me."

Dean narrowed his eyes and scanned him up and down. "What are you--" And for some reason, that's when it clicked. Aside from the flannel hanging out of his dress pants and the five o'clock shadow on his jaw, there had been something different about Cas. Off, a niggling sensation in the back of Dean's head since the second Cas opened the door.

He wasn't an angel.

Whatever he was had no grace, no shadow wings.

"You're not an angel," he said. And like a chain reaction the idea that this could possibly be Castiel--fallen--knocked the first domino in his head, and his eyes widened and his throat tightened, and the tip of the knife zigzagged in the air as it trembled in his grip. His eyes flicked back green. "No."

Cas' face lit up again. "Yes."

"You're saying you're human?"

"I am."

"You _fell?"_

"I did."

"You fucker!"

Cas laughed.

Dean stared at him in disbelief. An angel who lost his grace was... was powerles. He couldn't smite, he couldn't heal, he couldn't return to heaven, he... He was _human._ Everything Cas had been for thousands of years was just gone? "No," Dean shook his head. "Nuh-uh. You ain't Cas. Cas wouldn't do that. He wouldn't--he wouldn't just give up his fucking life like that. You're a shifter or--" his head wasn't working, he couldn't think-- "I don't know! But you're damn well not Cas."

"Dean--" he made to move towards him and Dean waved his blade.

"Keep back!"

"Okay. Okay," he said appeasingly, his hands raised. "But it's really me, Dean. How do I... ?" An idea seemed to occur to him and he pointed at Dean. "You-You secretly love Star Wars."

Dean snorted. "What?"

"Also you have a crush on Zoe Washburne. And Hoban Washburne." Ok, wait, how did he know that? Dean hadn't told _anyone_ about Wash. Except, obviously, Cas. "You like everything on your burgers even though you don't eat vegetables any other time."

"Everybody knows that," Dean said, ignoring everything else he had said.

Cas pursed his lips. "When you were three your mother got you a toy car--a chevrolet impala, though of the year 1974 because that was the oldest she could find in the thrift stores. Aside from your brother, it was the only thing you rescued from the fire when you were four. You still have it, you carry it in the bottom of your bag under a pile of clothes." The disbelief ballooned in his chest, a range of emotions and thoughts working through his body too quickly to identify. Sweat pricked his back. He needed to move or-or fight or fuck. He-He--Cas couldn't be. He wouldn't fall, he fucking wouldn't. Give up his life, his power, for a demon? For _Dean?_ Castiel wasn't that stupid, he... He fucking _wouldn't._

Cas pulled up his pant legs and for the first time Dean caught sight of his shoeless, socked feet. Pale cream socks covered in honeybees. "You gave me these on September 18th last year because it was my 'earth birthday.'" He even used the airquotes and-- "Dean, I love you." And no.

"Shut up!" Dean snapped. "You ain't him. You don't get to say that to me."

Cas winced which--which was _unlike_ him for once, but... so very human. "I realize now I should have warned you this was coming--"

"Ya fucking _think?"_

"--But I had wanted to surprise you." He shook his head. "Surprise Dean Winchester. Not a good idea." He breathed a sigh. Hands ran through a shockof black hair, messing it up more. He looked up at him, under his hair, under his eyelashes, his starkly blue eyes less bright than they were a minute ago. His face had lost the happy edge to it, and for some reason that hurt. A lot. "Ok," he said low, dropping his hands. "Get the silver. And the holy water. And everything. Test me, Dean."

Before today Dean had always thought a little bit of grace shown through Cas' eyes at all times, giving them that ridiculous shade of blue. Yet as earnestness, hope, _longing,_ and annoyance all flared in his eyes, they were just as intensely blue as always. They were just the same. And, yeah, Dean knew a shifter could make himself identical, but... in appearance only. Not in the way he looked at him, like Dean was his whole--annoying--world. Not in the stuff he knew about Dean. Not in the way he had tugged him close and kissed him. They were Cas. All of it, all of him _Cas._

And ironically, the one person Dean wanted to see the most right then, to talk to about this, or to lose himself in and forget about this, was standing right in front of him.

His knife hit the floor. "I don't need to test you, Cas." Surprise, followed immediately by the tug of a hopeful smile appeared on Cas', and Dean's chest hurt a little seeing it. How could he make Cas happy just like that when Cas had been the one to--the one to--?

"You believe me."

He dragged a hand down his face. "I do."

"Can-Can I touch you?" The nervous anticipation in Castiel's voice about broke Dean's heart. He nodded because he couldn't trust his voice.

A smile spread across Cas' face and he crossed to Dean in two strides, but instead of clawing at each other like they usually did, Cas paused. His mouth parted, his lips bright red even though they'd hardly touched yet. His hand raised between them and he placed it gently on Dean's chest. There was a rush of warmth inside, a pleasant spark at the tentative touch, but that was it. No smoke or painful heat, no shock or cramp or spasm. Just a touch, soft and warm and amazing.

Cas closed his eyes, like he needed a second, and then his hands came up around Dean's back like they always did and Dean draped his arms around Cas' neck and they pulled each other in. Their mouths met, and there was heat and warmth and the same crazy feeling of _need_ that always filled Dean up, but no burn, or cry of pain, or push and pull of their bodies. They stayed together, close, and it was still _intense,_ like everything that was eating them up inside, good or bad, was coming through in the way they moved with each other. The slide of their lips, the curl of their tongues. It was hot, and the little puff of breath and whispered name on his lips, drew Dean in. They pressed in to each other, and Cas licked the seam of his lips. He opened for him, and Cas let out a little moan as he slipped inside and lapped at his mouth like it was full of honey.

And this, this shouldn't be happening, this shouldn't be so _free_ and painless and perfect. His hands drifted over shoulders and climbed into hair. His fingernails etched little marks in the back of his scalp. Their bodies pressed closer, legs touching, thighs, and Cas' arms around his back, clutching Dean to him, but without the strength of an angel, the force of his power. Without the _burn._ Dean gasped in pleasure.

He hadn't asked for this. He wouldn't. He never, ever would have. He was happy enough seeing his angel, looking into his eyes, being with him however he could. He was happy enough when Cas told him he loved him every time they met. He never thought he'd have this cool brush of skin. This embrace of warmth and love with _nothing_ pulling them apart.

He-He felt--overwhelmed--he-he needed to--

He broke their kiss, keeping his eyes closed and _panting._ "God, Cas."

"It's perfect," Cas gasped, breathing in deep, scratching his nails along Dean's back. "You're perfect, Dean."

A humorless laugh burgeoned inside and spilled out his lips. He leaned his head back against the door--and when had he been pushed against it? "I'm not. I'm fucking _not,_ Cas. I'm a _demon._ And I've been through too much shit. You were there for a good chunk of it, dude. I'm messed up. You know that better than anyone."

Soft lips pressed against his chin and kissed up his jaw. "I was there, Dean, and I saw you care. I saw you cry. I saw you _try_ harder than anyone. Your mistakes make you real... You're perfect to me."

Cas' chest bumped against his, and Dean found the strength to open his eyes. The bright blue orbs staring back at him were _just_ the same, just the same as all those nights of endless hours searching them. Familiar beyond anything. Home.

Cas pushed up and kissed him. Dean's heart tightened, and Cas kissed him. Kissed him until his muscles unwound and then tightened again and Dean tugged him close because he needed him. The regret in his chest wasn't going away yet, so he needed Cas. He needed his body-- and--and he buried his nose in his neck and sniffed because he smelled the _same,_ all soft musk and starch and Cas. Arousal pooled, flush in his veins, and his knee came up between Cas' legs to find a cock already hardening. He nibbled at the spot between his neck and shoulder while he rubbed against his growing erection and Castiel's head fell back, his moan open-mouthed and breathy and yes, yes, that was what he needed. Blood flooded his groin at the erotic sound, and he bit harder, licking and sucking a mark on his skin because Cas was _his._ Cas was--Cas was--

Cas whimpered, and it sounded like he... like it hurt. _Fuck._ Dean suddenly realized he could hurt Cas, really _hurt_ him, damage his sweet body because he was _demon_ and Cas couldn't heal.

Dean jolted back, slamming against the door and almost falling as his feet tried to move farther than he was capable of getting. "Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry--"

"What?" Cas blinked unfocused at him, confused. "Dean--"

"--Fuck, Cas, I'm such a fucking selfish idiot, I'm so sorry--"

Cas tried to touch him, and Dean flinched back but couldn't go anywhere because of the stupid door and he wanted to punch something. Or cry. _God._ Cas touched him anyway, slowly, like he was scared or something. And shit, he had every right to be, didn't he?

"Dean, stop, please. What are you saying? What just happened between us was anything but you being _selfish."_

Dean scoffed and glared at the mark on his neck, already red and yellow and turning purple. "I hurt you. You don't heal like you used to, Cas. I used to have to work hard to leave anything on your body, and now I'm chewing you up like--like your an _angel."_ Cas' head tilted, and he looked at him in this weirdly tender way, almost smiling but not quiet, and Dean didn't _get_ it.

"I'm human, Dean. Not a kitten." As if he was making a joke, he kitten-licked Dean's neck. "Please, Dean, I _enjoy_ it when you mark me. I always have, even when it burned with pain. Now? ...Yes, it bites a little, but in a _good_ way. It is extremely pleasurable to me to feel your lips and teeth and tongue, and to know you desire me so strongly you wish to make it so I, and anyone else who looks at me, knows I'm yours. I want you, Dean, in every way you'll have me." He thrust against Dean's hip, rubbing on him so he could feel his erection tight in his pants.

Possessiveness and hunger curled in Dean's stomach, his body itching to press closer, but he was... he was... _scared._ "Cas..."

"Dean." Cas laid a palm over Dean's heart, and then pushed his top layer off his shoulders and Dean let him. His hand wound in Dean's shirt so he could pull him in and Dean came when he tugged. Cas' face turned up that inch towards him, and Dean lowered his mouth and let their lips slide together. He put a hand on Cas' hip, feeling him move with him, stumbling after him as Cas backspaced towards the bed. "Dean," Cas hummed again, a little breathier this time, a little needier. He rubbed his hands up and down Dean's back, nuzzling against his lips and chin and neck, like he couldn't touch him or feel him or get close enough to him. Dean shivered at it, reveled in it. _"Dean."_ Fingers drifted under the hem of his shirt to press over skin and they both made sounds, low in their throats. "Make love to me."

The skittering twinges in Dean's chest stopped--and then multiplied. "No."

"Hmm?" Cas asked, kissing his neck a second before he seemed to notice Dean's stiffness. He pulled back. "Dean?"

"I can't, Cas. I could hurt you if--"

Cas shook his head, squeezing his arm. "You won't hurt me."

"I could _break_ you," Dean countered, his voice louder. "I could snap your bones, Cas. I could make you bleed. I _won't."_

Concern, confusion even, made furrows on Cas' forehead as his fingers made distracting patterns on Dean's arms. "You wouldn't, though. I trust you."

"No," Dean shook his head. "Just no, okay. Not-Not today. I _can't."_ A shaky hand ran through his hair. He wasn't ready for that, he couldn't--wouldn't hurt Cas. So he squeezed Cas' shoulders and softened his voice. "Fuck _me."_

"Dean--"

"Just fuck me, Cas," Dean whispered, searching his eyes, his eyes that looked like pools of water in whatever the fuck this lighting was, all dim, with the curtains drawn, and just one lamp on over by the bed. It was soft and Cas' features were soft, even as he squinted at him and for second Dean was sure he was going to argue. But then he pushed up and kissed him softly and said _Okay, okay, Dean_ , without forcing him to talk about it, and a tiny bit of tension ebbed away. Okay. Okay.

"Tonight," he whispered, "I'll take care of you."

Then Cas dragged him in for a kiss, all tongue and teeth, nibbling at his lips, and he tugged at his shirt, parting as Dean lifted his arms and Cas pulled it off. And when his skin was revealed Cas growled, hungry and appreciative, letting himself look at Dean's body, and... for the first time since the first day they had sex, Dean felt self-conscious. Like he knew, because somehow he always knew what Dean was thinking, Cas dropped the shirt and pushed Dean's defensive arms aside before kissing his collar bones. "I love this body," he hummed. He pressed his fingers to Dean's chest and moaned softly, just at that, and his hips moved once in the air, seeking friction, aroused when he wasn't even the one being touched. Dean tipped his head back, his nerves firing at the way Cas moved, and where Cas' hands were on him, warm and slightly rough from callouses, roaming over Dean's chest like he'd never touched another being before. He kissed his collar bones and up his throat at the invitation Dean had given him, and when his palm paused over his left pec, he leaned up into Dean. "I love this heart," he whispered in Dean's ear, his breath tickling the tiny hairs, a tongue flicking out to curl around his lobe.

Dean gasped and groaned and held on to Cas, and then the trailing hands found a nipple just as Cas latched on to Dean's pulse point and something, a moan, or a name, or a curse choked out of him at the attention. Ripples of pleasure spread through his body with everything Cas did to him all the while, Cas hummed, pleased with every sound he drew from Dean.

He flicked his nipple again with his fingers, kissing down to the other one and-- _fucking fuck_ \--Dean couldn't stop the keen that whistled from his lips as he pushed towards that hot mouth wet and painless and so incredibly _good._ He could feel his nipple puckering and aching in Cas' mouth, and his dick felt like it swelled even more. He swore at the tight confines trapping it. "Cas, I need these fucking pants off me. My dick needs to breathe."

Cas smirked up at him around his nipple, which was weirdly one of the hottest things he'd ever seen, and then he gave him a little push. Dean stumbled back, the back of knees hitting something and bouncing back on the bed because apparently somewhere between _fuck me_ and Cas sucking his brains out through his pec, he'd moved Dean around without him even noticing. Again!

He with his jean-clad legs spread, pulses of residual pleasure emanating from his nipples, with Cas standing over him, his eyes darker than they were before. His mouth opened, the alveoli of his lungs filling up as air rushed through his trachea and his hips came off the mattress, pushing his covered cock and grinding on nothing at the sight. Because this was still Cas. Hot, perfect Cas. Dean shut his eyes before the blackness could show itself with his arousal, trying hard to think of less sensual things so he could look at Cas without him seeing the monster he had wasted his _immortality_ on--

And fuck. Somehow, Dean _just_ realized. Cas could die now. Was going to die now in, what, fifty years? Less?

Nausea roiled in his gut, worsening when soft lips kissed across his stomach like he was something good, like he was worth giving up immortality on. His eyes went green again and he opened them just as Cas let his hands skim over his cock, drawing a _huh_ from Dean at the tiny bit of contact even as his thoughts rolled, before continuing down his pantlegs. With shipped fingernails, he unpicked the knot in Dean's shoelaces and slid his boot from his foot like he was Cinderella or some shit, then pulled off his sock and affectionately kissed his ankle.

Dean's lungs hurt. His throat hurt. Didn't Cas know what he was? What he'd done? Hadn't he told him? Why did he do it? A fucking angel, falling for _him._ _Christ, Cas, I'm not worth it._ Why would he--How could he--??

"Dean."

He shook his head at the sound of that gorgeous voice. He couldn't speak. He hadn't felt this much--he hadn't felt something like this in... God, he was a demon. Had he ever felt like this before?

_"Dean."_ A palm cupped his face. And it was soft and it was cool and it didn't hurt at all. "Look at me. _Please."_ The bed dipped as Cas climbed up beside him, fingers stroking through his hair.

"I can't," he finally choked out. "You're going to fucking _die._ In less than half a decade, probably. Why didn't you ask me? Tell me what you were thinking? I would have said no!" the last word came out nearly a wail, but the fingers didn't stop their combing. In fact, they moved faster, brushing through his hair, touching his cheek, swiping along his forehead.

"Dean, _please_ look at me."

"Why? So you can see _this?"_ He opened his eyes black, letting the demon out, and Cas stared in to those eyes and didn't blink.

"Yes, Dean," he said softly. "You're a demon. I haven't forgotten that. And I love you. Not just your beautiful green eyes, but your black ones too." He smiled, tilting his head. "Becoming human was my choice. My decision. If I had talked to you about it, and you told me no, I still would have fallen. Because, as much as I love you, Dean, you don't get to choose that for me." A surge of anger followed immediately by guilt and acquiescence swept through Dean. He couldn't tell Cas what to do. He didn't own him, he had no right. But that didn't mean he liked it, or thought it was right, or wished Cas hadn't given himself up to die in a scant human lifetime for him. He looked away, shifting away to indicate he wanted Cas' hands off him, but Cas wouldn't let him go. He just kept _touching_ him, cupping his cheek, brushing the hair from his forehead. "And," he said, "because of _this._ This, Dean." He brushed his thumb beneath Dean's eye. "This is _worth it_ for me. Being able to touch you, _feel_ you like this, wrap my arms around you and hold you all night long." Quieter, "Kiss you without whimpering at the pain." A tear spilled from Dean's eyes. He always hated hurting Cas, he hated it. "Please, Dean. Let us have this, have each other, for however long we can. That's all I want."

Dean choked on a sob as Cas kissed his cheek. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Dean wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down before he could and pressed their lips together. And it was sloppy at first, messy, their lips crushed together too hard, and Dean was moist, his mouth wet, his nose runny, but Cas moaned in pleasure anyway and kissed him back. He worked his lips and tongue until they were in sync, mouths brushing, opening, tongues curling, and then again, over and over again. For a long, long time, until Dean's black heart was throbbing and Cas was actually panting for breath, breath he needed now, and they pressed their foreheads together. Dean took a second to get control of himself and the arousal his dick had been reminded of. "Okay," he panted against Castiel's lips. "Okay. Make love to me you stupid perfect idiot."

Cas huffed a laugh and kissed him, then buried his face in Dean's neck and wrapped him in his arms and held him. Dean returned the hug, until Cas kissed his neck and pulled back.

"Okay," his voice quavered just slightly and his eyes glistened, but he was smiling again, that small little beautiful smile, and Dean _loved_ him. Too fucking much.

He returned to the foot of the bed and pulled off his shirt, finally revealing some skin before he made quicker work of Dean's other boot and sock, and Dean lifted up his hips to help him tug down his pants. His cock curled up in the air, and Cas' gaze darkened looking at it.

"Turn over for me," Castiel prodded gently.

"On-On my stomach?" he said, asking more than just how to turn. Cas nodded, and Dean scrambled over to all fours, his ass in the air as relief rushed through him. Yes, like this, facing away from each other for once. He could bear it like this. Cas always fucking knew what he needed.

Hands fell on his ass almost immediately, and Cas made a sound like a groan like he'd never felt ass before--and, okay, this was kind of new, Dean guessed. I mean, there was no pain, but also Cas was human now. Did that change the way he felt things? Dean didn't know, but hands squeezed his ass, a thumb slipping down to just brush over his hole, lips peppering his back just above his crack, and he sighed with pleasure.

He hadn't been with anyone else since he and Cas became a thing, so it had been a long time since someone had taken any amount of time exploring like Cas was now, rolling the globes of his ass, kissing his ribs one by one, letting his hands slide down around Dean and stroke his cock once, twice. Before, it had been too painful to spend any great amount of time touching, but now... It was nice, really, really nice and it was new and Dean liked it so much.

He buried his head in the crook of his arm. For such a long time he had wanted this, just to be able to feel Cas, really feel him without his biology screaming at him to get the fuck away. Cas had no idea, but he'd even dreamed about taking this step himself before, becoming human. Sort of imagined it like a beautiful fantasy that would never happen. Though, Cas was always an angel in his fantasies. He'd never thought he'd beat him to it.

His ass cheeks parted as Cas finally pulled them apart and thumbed over his dry hole. "L-Lube," he croaked, and then cleared his throat and tried again, and Dean grabbed it from the nightstand and tossed it back to him. There was a pop from the little purple bottle, and then cold slicked over his hole and Dean jumped. "Sorry, sorry," Cas hummed.

"It's okay. We aren't--We aren't used to it feelin' _cold,_ are we?" Cas brushed a thumb over his hip with his free hand.

"No," he said quietly. "That's not what we're used to at all."

"Come on," Dean murmured. "Just surprised me at all. But I'm ready to feel you, Cas. I wanna feel you."

Cas nipped at his ass and made a sound like a purr and then surprised him by pushing the tip of his finger past his rim, and Dean stretched in this way that felt way too good. He pushed back on it, and Cas grabbed his hip to stop him. "Wait. It's too soon."

"I'm a demon, Cas, you ain't gonna hurt me," Dean scoffed.

"I'm well aware of what you are, and now that... things are different, I'm not pushing into you until you have a second to adjust. You're waiting a moment."

"Damnit, Cas," Dean breathed, turned on my him in a way he wasn't used to. Distracting circles rubbed into his hip while he waited, the soft pressure at his entrance neither increasing or decreasing. Kisses dusted the ridge of his ass while Dean forced his coiled muscles to relax bit by bit. And when he was gearing up to curse some more and push himself back on Cas, another knuckle slid into his hole, wiggled and stretched and fucked, until it pushed in to the base, and Dean sighed at the feeling of something inside of him. "More," he growled as Cas started fucking him with it. The slide was good and the heat was good, but it wasn't enough and his cock bobbed with need until Cas stretched him with a second finger, slick and slippery, sliding into his heat with this weird cool sensation Dean had forgotten about. He didn't remember it could feel this way, and it was _good._ The finger pumped in long stretches and then short little grinding bursts, twisting his insides, and, yeah, stretching him, but also working pleasure into him with a will and focus and patience they'd never bothered with before. They had usually taken the time to work one another open when they fucked, but quick and hard and just enough to not tear when they shoved inside. Now, Cas was taking his time, and it was... it was somewhere between heaven and hell.

Every time Dean hissed at a particularly deep thrust or gripped the sheets a little tighter when the fingers inside twisted _just so_ , every time he let some sign of his pleasure escape him, Cas made a happy sound and did it again. And again. And then pumped deep and alternated his thrust and then did _again_ and it was driving Dean fucking crazy. He didn't even add another finger, but kept stroking Dean and making him twitch and hiss, until Dean was huffing into the sheets and rocking with Cas, and he hadn't even touched his prostate yet. And then, like Cas could still hear his thoughts he crooked his fingers and-- _G-God in heaven_ \--a shock of pleasure ripped through Dean, and he cried into the mattress, his wet sounds muffled in cotton and polyester as his thighs trembled in surprise. _"Dean,"_ Cas said, and it was part groan and part croon and all yes, yes, yes, fucking, yes, Dean was right there with him.

"Need you, Cas, come on."

Those lips returned to his backside. "Soon," a thick, sexy voice murmured right into his skin, and then Cas speared Dean with a third finger and for the first time the stretch was something Dean could sigh about. And finally with that stretch, whatever patience Cas had seemed to have disappeared. Roughly, his fingers shoved in deep, pulsing inside of him, twisting, stretching him, then pulsing some more, and _hell yes_ , this was what Dean was made for. His ass moved all on its own, shoving back every single time Cas thrust inside, and _unggg, god_ , Cas, _need you, need you, need you, need y--_

"Saints, Dean," Cas cursed when Dean felt fabric thrust against his hip, and he only just realized he had been chanting out loud and Cas was now humping his ass with his pants still on. So he got a little louder.

"Fuck me, Cas, fuck me, fuck me, f-fucking--f-fuck meeee--"

_"Fuck."_ Cas growled, his voice tight and low. _"Okay._ Okay, okay, Dean, okay." He soothed Dean's spine as he withdrew his fingers, but Dean still gasped as his hole clenched down on nothing, and whined. He needed Cas, needed to feel him inside, and he rocked on his knees and b-begged.

" _C-Cas, please, please..._ "

Dean was loose and willing to do this with Cas in his new body, and he fucking loved him so much it hurt, and he fucking needed him inside _yesterday._

The sound of a zipper filled the otherwise quiet room, followed almost immediately by a relieved sigh as pants dropped to the floor, and Dean whimpered again.

A warm body draped itself over Dean's back, a slicked up cock sliding along Dean's ass, bumping against his balls. And _yeeeess, yes, christ_. The sounds coming from him turned incoherent as he opened his legs wider and Cas ran his hands over Dean's chest. "Like that?" he asked, and thrust against him a few times, his cock slide along Dean's crack, almost fucking him but not.

"Y-Yes," Dean moaned. "N-need more, n-need you inside."

"You're ready, Dean?" Cas asked him, his voice thicker, heavier than usual, practically _dripping_ with arousal. God, Dean loved his fucking _voice._

"Fucking, _yes,_ Cas," he breathed. "R-Really ready."

Cas hummed and kissed his back. His hands drifted over Dean's abdomen while he pressed his body closer, his chest along Dean's back, his thighs against the backs of Dean's, his cock flush between Dean's cheeks. His lips moved across Dean's shoulderblades, and Dean didn't know how he could kiss him so lazily when they were both trembling with need. But he held him like that for a minute, wrapped all around Dean in every way possible.

They'd never done it like this before. I mean, yeah, they'd done doggy before, obviously, both of them had, but whichever one of them was the top had always done it sitting up. Not like this, where with their bodies skin to skin. It would have hurt so much like this, before. Dean pushed up against Cas' chest, rolling back along his cock and drawing a gasp of surprised pleasure from behind him. "I love you, Castiel."

There was a second when Cas stopped moving, his roaming hands frozen on Dean's stomach. And then his arms tightened around him and there was this sound like a choked off sob. The hands on his stomach seemed suddenly shaky so Dean turned his head, and Cas was there, kissing him. It was difficult from this angle, but Cas shoved everything he had into that kiss anyway and Dean kissed him back just as hard. Then he nuzzled the back of Dean's neck, thrusting along his crack. "Did you think I wouldn't, anymore?" Dean asked around little breathless sighs as Cas moved above him.

"No," he denied. Then, "Maybe? I don't know." Cas rose up a little and his cock caught on Dean's rim and Dean twitched and moaned and pushed back. "I don't have power any more. Or wings. I'm weak, now, in need of sustenance and human things. And you're--"

Cas had reached back and was gripping his cock. Dean knew because he felt the blunt head against his entrance, but Cas didn't push inside, he made these little rocking motions that pushed against his hole, opening him a little but not fully penetrating him, basically _attacking_ his rim. _"--Nnngh--_ powerful," Cas finished. Dean choked, at the assault pushing his ass up higher, and Cas chuckled happily against his skin, mouthing over his back. "I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough anymore."

The ludicrousy of that statement as Cas drove him wild with his fucking cock when he hadn't even penetrated him yet almost turned the whine in Dean's throat into a snort. But Cas thrust a little harder and the head of his cock pierced Dean's hole, then slid out again, and the sound just melted into a wordless groan. Besides, Dean knew Cas wasn't just talking about sex. "Cas-- _christ_ \--I didn't fall in l-love with you because you were an angel or because you were powerful or bec--" he hissed "--b-because you were a _man._ You know I preferred women for a long fucking time. I'm in love with you because-because--" And, god, where to begin? There were so many reasons, too many reasons--and Dean. Couldn't. _Think_ as Cas fucked him. Or didn't fuck him, but sent splintering shocks of pleasure through his body with every _movement._ "Because you're _you,"_ he gasped. "And-- _god_ \--When did you become such a fucking _tease?_

"Couldn't help myself." Cas kissed his back happily. "Sorry." And then he pushed forward, hard, and his cock slid hot and heavy inside of Dean, and _Oh, f-fuckin' finally, anngh_. Balls bounced against his ass as Cas sheathed himself in one fucking thrust and Dean's channel spasmed around him, squeezing him and twitching as he tried to breathe, head lowered to quilt beneath him. His hands fisted the sheets, the only thing he could grab hold of as Cas anchored himself to Dean. Someone was making this high-pitched needy sound and--oh, yeah, that was him--saying Cas' name--while Cas choked and trembled above him, biting and licking and _sucking_ a mark into Dean's skin. Christ, did it always feel this good? Because Cas was filling him, _so good_. Thick and stretched, aching in such a good way.

If the thought had at any moment crossed his mind this would be different--pleasure-wise--that it might not feel as intense as always, now that Cas was human, he was wrong. The only difference was, there was no pain. There was no burn or heat or blister. Only stretch and fullness and _pleasure._

A choked sound drew him from his reeling, and he blinked open his eyes and looked back at Cas. His heart flipped in his chest because Cas was looking at him like--h-his eyes were bright, his face slightly flushed but not from sex, his lips were red, and a tear slipped down his cheek. "Cas?" Dean croaked.

"I'm sorry," his angel shook his head, as if at himself. "It just--it doesn't h-hurt. You feel so perfect, Dean, I--" he broke off and gave a shallow, shallow thrust, like he couldn't help himself, and a sob leaked past his lips.

"I love you," Dean whispered, his throat thick, his heart thumping. He wished he could touch Cas, he wished he could pull him down on top of him and kiss him so, so, so hard until he stopped crying. He settled instead for saying it again. "God, I love you."

"I love you," Cas rasped in reply.

Dean sucked in a breath, blinking rapidly. "Come on," he said, starting to push back on Cas. "Show me."

With a breath and nod he bent over Dean again and kissed up his spine and then lay flush and warm over his back. Dean looked forward again and braced himself as the cock inside pulled back, slowly, dragging in Dean's hole in the best possbile way. It felt like eons, millennia, passed until just the head remained gripped by Dean's rim. And then Cas thrust, hard, jabbing, shooting pleasure up Dean's spine. And then he did it again, and again, punching the breath from Dean's lungs with every thrust before he started moving with any sort of rhythm. _And mmm, yeah, right there, oomf, y-yes, haaanh_ , he was hitting all the right spots.

"Cas, Cas, _Cas--Hng--Cas,"_ He chanted his name, ending on a whine every time Cas' dick punched into him again, and he couldn't help but imagine what his hole must look like, all stretched around him and red, the skin pulling every time Cas slid out, and then pushing back in when he thrust into his body, and _Anggh,_ fucking hell, that was a really, really hot image. Warm salt and tang filled his mouth and he only then realized he'd bitten his lip hard enough to make it bleed yet it still wasn't enough to hold in the erotic sounds he was making. So he bent down, his chest and shoulders on the bedspread, his ass in the air and bit into his own arm instead to muffle his wrecked voice.

"You're s-so hot," Cas growled, his cock giving shorter, faster jabs in this position as he gripped around his waist. Another bonus was how close Cas' hands were now, wrapped around Dean, to his cock, so that the sensitive head just brushed against his knuckles every time Cas pounded into him. And then Cas canted his hips on the next thrust, and Dean choked as a shot of pure fire gushed through his veins and _shook_ through his body.

" _Unnng, Caass_ ," he gasped. At his cry, Cas bit into his shoulder and sucked and licked and there was this tiny gnaw of pain, but it was overridden by the pleasure he was licking into his skin, and gods, he was fucking _close_ already. "I'm-I'm _c-cloose,_ Cas. T-Touch me. _Pleeaase,"_ he whined, because fuck, he wasn't above begging when his body was wrapped up with heat and rippling with pleasure, and Cas groaned against the mark he was making at Dean's pathetic plea so it was all good.

His hands slid down, and he wrapped them both around Dean's cock, tight, but loose enough Dean was fucking through them every single fucking time Cas _fucked_ him. And it was so good, it was so, so, so, so, so, fucking--

\--He groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. And he was--

\--so close. He was gonna--h-he was--

"Come, Dean." Cas growled, and the sound of his voice, so deep and commanding intensified Dean's pleasure, and he was so close--just another thrust--another roll of his hips--another stroke of Cas' perfect calloused hands, and Dean _came._ Pleasure _rollicked_ through him, centering on his groin and spasming out to every inch of his body. His arms trembled with it, his toes curled, and he cried brokenly as his cock painted stripe after stripe of white along his chest and blanket below. A shudder cracked through him, his stomach tense, his body still reeling as Cas groaned. His thrusts lost their rhythm. He fucked into Dean's oversensitive ass wild and hard as his hole throbbed and squeezed him. Then he fucked in one last time, as deep as he could go and stuttered to a halt, body wrapping tight as warmth filled Dean.

Then he fell over Dean's back, heavy and gasping for breath as little tremors worked through them both, making Dean's hole clench, making Cas mewl. "God," he sighed.

"Yes," Cas agreed.

 

 

  
When he could form coherent thoughts in his blissfully quiet mind, Dean cleaned himself and Cas with a snap of his fingers. They tossed the quilt on the floor, though, and then lay side by side like they always did, facing one another. Except this time, their hands were fitted together between them. And Dean was making little shapes with his thumb on Cas' knuckle.

A light was dancing in Castiel's eyes as he stared at their cojoined hands. But he blinked slowly, _tiredly,_ and Dean realized he would need to sleep soon. They wouldn't be able to look at each other's eyes for hours like they used. But they could touch, and that--Dean traced a circle on Cas' skin, and Cas squeezed his fingers, pressing his palm a little closer--that was better.

"Are you angry with me?" Cas asked, after a while.

Dean's lips pursed. Angry? Most of that had been fucked out of him, or soothed out of him by Cas' tracing hands. What Cas did... it was a big decision, and Dean wished he had at least spoken to him about it before hand. But he guessed he knew that conversation wouldn't have gone well, and, in the end, it _was_ Castiel's decision to make.

More accurately, he was sad. And happy. Which was a really fucking weird combination, but true regardless. Sad, because Cas gave up so much. Happy, because they could do _this,_ hold each other's hand, kiss lazily, cover each other with their bodies and fuck as long and slow as they wanted.

Sad, because as things were, Cas would age and Dean wouldn't.

"No," he answered honestly. "I'm not angry with you, Cas."

He smiled a little. "Good. Because I'm happy with my decision. Very, very happy."

Dean smiled back and shimmied a little closer, so their knees touched and they lived in their own private world. And they stayed like, just like that, Cas occasionally pulling his hand closer to kiss his knuckles, and stared at each other for a while. Until Cas' eyelids were sagging, and he was fighting back yawns. "You need to sleep," Dean murmured. Cas agreed silently.

"Can..." He licked his lips. "Can I hold you?"

Dean's heart melted a little at the nervous look Cas gave him. "Do you really think I'd say no to that?" Relief swept away the nervousness, and Dean laughed at him, just a little, letting go of whatever remnants of regret he felt as Cas' decision as he came closer, throwing a leg over Dean's and an arm around Dean's back, running his fingers through his short hair. He pulled Dean in for a kiss, and Dean willingly went. Their lips slid together, warm and slightly wet and they kissed innocently for a few moments. Then Dean opened his mouth a little, and their tongues deepened the kiss, not to erotic degrees but enough to get Cas breathing deeply and Dean shivering just a little. "I love you, Dean," Cas whispered. To this day, warm happiness filled up Dean at those words, and he snuggled closer to Cas, letting him hold him as close as he could.

Dean in his arms, Cas' eyes gradually fell shut, and within moments, he breathing slowed and deepened. His sleep was deep, his muscles lax but he was still wrapped securely around Dean, and when Dean moved, shifted just the tiniest bit, Cas gripped him harder in his sleep until Dean settled again. Dean smiled, surprisingly happy.

Hours passed while Dean studied Castiel's sleeping face, comfortable in his arms in a way he had never enjoyed before, and he thought. He loved Cas in a way he had never loved anyone else. Sam, of course, took precedence in his heart, but Cas was right there beside him, and though they were both his best friends, the love Dean felt for Cas was so different from his love for Sam they were nearly two separate entities. The one thing that was identical was that he'd do anything for either of them.

Which was why he was struggling with his thoughts so much right now. Cas would live and experience and eat and sleep and grow old without Dean. And, yeah, Dean would still happily lie with him just like this when Cas was 70 and gray. He really wouldn't care. Cas was Cas.

But he wouldn't... he wouldn't get to experience things in the same way. And wouldn't get to... _be there_ , with him, every single day. Hold him, read with him, massage his sore human feet when he came home after a long day, shower with him because he'd need to shower now just to get clean. Wake up beside him.

And one day, too, too soon Cas wouldn't be there at all, and Dean would go on living this cursed life. Without him.

He didn't want that, he didn't fucking want that at all.

But would Sam be ok if... if Dean wasn't a demon anymore?

Dean pursed his lips and studied Castiel's face, his eyelashes, his lips, slightly parted. And night turned into dawn, and Dean wrestled with his thoughts.

 

 

 

It was still pretty dark in the room when Cas started to wake up. The ugly-ass wine-colored drapes did their job, more or less, only letting in a streak of light where they joined. It was enough to light the room dimly.

Cas' arm, still around Dean, tightened, and he breathed in slow and deep as consciousness started coming to him. "Mornin', Sunshine." Dean kissed his forehead, and this blissful smile spread across Cas' face before he'd even opened his eyes. He made a happy little murmur and nuzzled in closer to Dean, burying his nose in his neck, throwing his leg even further over Dean's, which, as they were still naked from last night, coincidentally had the added effect of drawing their cocks closer, and, oh, look at that. Cas was sporting some morning wood.

"Hello, Dean."

"Mmm," Dean hummed. "Sleep well?"

Lips pressed up the column of Dean's throat. "Very, very well. But waking up was even nicer. Wrapped around you."

The wet lick of a tongue under Dean's jaw, along with the proximity of Cas' cock was sending tendrils of warmth to Dean's groin. "Had a pretty good night myself."

"You smell good." Fingers dug into his back, and Cas thrust his hips. Their cocks brushed together, and, ah, Dean was definitely starting to catch up to Cas.

"I probably smell like cold sweat and sulfer," Dean said disbelievingly.

"Well then that smells good on you," Cas breathed. He sniffed up his neck, and Dean pushed the leg that was between Cas's further. A groan warmed Dean's neck, and Cas rolled against him again, their cocks brushing together. "I love waking up with you."

"I love you," Dean replied and Cas caught his lips with his own and kissed him... Dean could only think of it as 'passionately.' He held him so tight and kept grasping him like it still wasn't tight enough, and the way his mouth moved with Dean's made it feel like... like he couldn't breathe without Dean. _Love_ and _desire_ burned in Dean's chest because Cas made him feel... made him feel wanted and Dean wanted him him back, in every fricken way.

He gasped when Cas threw his weight against him and suddenly he was on his back and Cas was above him, straddling him on the mattress. His fully hard cock lying on Dean's stomach. His curse was cut off by Cas' lips, and that would always be ok with Dean. Any time Cas wanted to shut him up he could kiss him like this and whatever thoughts were in Dean's head would be gone by the time he drew back for breath.

_"Dean,"_ Cas sighed. Dean's dick was almost hard by now, and the way Cas had straddled him, it just touched his ass. But with that cry, he pushed back and Dean's cock slotted between Cas' cheeks.

_Hnnn--_

_"--holy, Cas!_ "

Cas leaned on his forearms and jerked his hips up and down a few times, and even with both of them dry, the feeling of Cas' tight ass squeezing his dick and stroking him sent a throb of need through him. He wanted--he wanted to--god, he really wanted to be inside Cas. To feel his channel, hot, but painless, squeezing _Dean--christ._

"Dean, I want you--want you to penetrate me."

The sound of a cracking knuckle was caused by Dean's hands gripping the sheets hard to keep himself from grabbing Cas' thighs. Because he wanted that--a _lot_ \--but... "Cas," Dean hissed. "It's-It's dangerous. I can't. I don't want to hurt you." Cas' hands came up and curled around his jaw. He fell forward and gently, softly kissed Dean's lips.

"You aren't going to. Please," he breathed. "I want you in me so badly. I want to feel that connection to you, the throb of you inside my body." Blood flooded south, and as if Cas knew what he was doing to him, he rubbed his ass along Dean's dick.

"Haaah," he dug his fingers in Cas' forearm, looking up into his eyes and breathing. "I'm scared, Cas."

"Don't be." Cas kissed his cheek. "I'm not." He pressed his lips to the side of his nose. "I'll be okay, better than okay." He lay his mouth over Dean's, and Dean gave in to his desire to kiss him back deeply, letting their tongues curl and wind.

Pressing their foreheads together, Dean's hands curled in Cas' hair, and he let himself consider it. "If-If we did it, you could do it like this, on top of me, so you can choose the pace."

Cas' eyes lit up. _"Yes."_

"And if you _swore_ you'll tell me if I'm hurting you _at all_."

"I will."

"I'm serious, Ca--"

Cas laid a finger over his lips. "I _will,_ Dean."

Fear in his chest fought with _fever_ in lower parts of his body. Love mixed with want and the craving he always had to make Cas happy. And Cas was looking at him with large blue eyes, hopeful and anxious. Dean was scared, but... one of the truest things he'd ever said to Cas was, _I trust you_ , and was exercising that trust now. _"Okay."_ The swirl of blue was pushed back by the black of Cas' pupils, and he breathed an excited breath.

"How do you want me?" he asked, and his eyes flickered to the bottle of lube.

"Turn around," Dean said. "I'm opening you up with mouth first."

A groan spilled in the air, and Cas kissed him fast and dirty, giving his hips one last _roll_ along Dean's cock

Cas crawled on top of him, first swinging his knee over Dean's chest so he faced away, and then scooching back, panting as he went until his ass hovered just above Dean's face and Dean's hands curled over his hips. Dean breathed a steadying breath, suddenly aroused beyond belief with Cas' ass practically on his face. He put his thumbs in Cas crack and pulled his cheeks apart so his shadowy, puckered hole was revealed. And it was tiny, so tight. _I'm going to be filling this with my cock_. He groaned in spite of himself and licked his lips, then pulled Cas incrementally closer until he could lick up the crack of his ass, missing his hole altogether. Cas sucked in a breath and sighed it out again, and Dean chuckled. Then tongued along his perineum striping over his balls and slicking back again, pushing in and stimulating his prostate through his skin. Cas keened quietly, his hips just barely moving and then tensing like he was trying to keep himself still and Dean wriggled his tongue against that spot again and hummed.

_"Dean,"_ Cas growled, and there were no more words but _hurry the fuck up_ came through loud and clear. Dean snorted and obliged him, flicking his tongue along the crease of his ass until he came back up to that hole. He pushed up and kissed the coiled muscle before he swished his tongue in a circle around it. Cas groaned and immediately pushed down, and fuck, Dean fucking loved how fucking responsive he was. He decided he was gonna reward that and started laving his tongue in earnest, circling Cas' hole and dragging over it, over and over again, sucking on the skin just below and above every now and then until Cas was shuddering and making sound after sound, and he could feel his rim loosening. He spit some saliva to lube him up some more and laved across his entrance, slicking his tongue up and down until Cas started rocking his body on Dean's face, begging for it, and Dean finally gave in. He pulled Cas' cheeks a little more to open him up, and then with just the tip of his tongue straight and stiff he pushed into the tight muscle, feeling it yield around him. He twisted and bucked wiggling just the tip in Cas' hole for a few minutes, feeling Cas thrash and huff above him, and feeling his tightness ease and relax bit by bit. When he felt he was loose enough, he plunged his tongue deeper, pulling Cas back onto his face until he was as deep as he could get.

A full body shudder wracked through Cas, and he bent over, forcing Dean to push up a bit to keep his tongue sheathed in ass. At first, Dean thought he'd just fallen forward in ecstasy, but then the blanket was lifted up around his waist, letting in a cool wash of air, and Dean realized what he was about to do just before he did it. Wet heat spread over the head of his cock and _Nnngh, holy shit,_ Cas tongue over his slit, and a deep-throated moan vibrated through him--and Cas--and he lost himself for a second, his hips coming off the mattress and thrusting himself deeper into Cas' mouth. Cas made this slightly choked sound, but didn't pull off and kept swiping at his slit and driving Dean holy fucking crazy. And then Cas started pushing down on his face again, and--oh yeah--Dean's tongue was still up his ass but totally motionless, so he swished it around, and, _oh, god,_ Cas skimmed his head with teeth in return and then _sucked_ down his length. Dean's back bowed as he arched, totally unable to stop his cry of pure pleasure. Cas hummed, pleased and started sucking, and Dean tongued his hole with a new surge of wild abandon, pulsing against his tight walls. When he figured he was loose enough, he removed his tongue briefly, slicked up a finger with saliva and pushed it back in alongside his tongue. Cas keened and rocked against his face, fucking himself on his finger and tongue and lapping at Dean's cock like it was all icing and sugar, fingernails biting into his thighs. Dean crooned and hummed and tugged on Cas' rim, losing his shit, forgetting his fear as he gave and got so fucking well by Cas' talented mouth, and working him open a little bit harder, a little bit rougher to the encouraging sounds spilling from his perfect mouth.

When he was loose enough for more and Dean was starting to lose his mind from Cas' pleasure, he pulled back, snapped his fingers, and brought the bottle of lube to his hand. He was shaking so much it took two tries and a chant of, _Cas, holy fucking christ, Cas_ , to get the stupid thing open and slick his fingers up. He pushed just two in to start, just to be sure, but Cas opened for him easy, his channel slick with saliva. Still, Dean fucked into his hole a few time, scissored and twisted, and then crooked his fingers. It took him a second or two, but then Cas' body tensed so hard, and he _growled_ around Dean's cock and Dean jerked at that amazing sensation. As gratitude, he speared him with a third finger. He worked him open a little more quickly, thrusting, tugging and twisting until Cas was whimpering and drooling around his cock and--

"Ca--goddamn--I need to get inside you right fucking _n-Nnow_!" He spread his fingers and fucked into him some more, but Cas felt open and slick and like he was ready as he'd ever be, and Dean couldn't wait anymore if they didn't want this to end another way.

Cas hummed happily and pulled off Dean's cock, whining when Dean's fingers slipped free. Turning around and facing Dean, their mouths came together like they had one mind, Dean gripping the sheets with his messy, lube-slicked hand to keep from tangling it in Cas' hair. "Come on," he crooned, and Cas' face lit up. He even nuzzled Dean's chin for a second before Dean pulled him in for another kiss and pressed the lube into his hands.

Cas sat up and drizzled it in his palm, reached back to slick Dean's cock up. He looked back at him as he steadied him, and, just before he rose up and hovered over his cock, Dean inhaled and stopped him, that flicker of fear in his chest again. But before he voice what he was thinking, Cas smiled and nodded. He covered Dean's hand on his hip with his own. "I want this," he said, his voice deep and thick.

Dean bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth and watching Cas' eyes drift down his face, then flick back up, bright and dark and aroused. Cas was aroused. And needy, rocking in the air against nothing, not touching Dean's cock with his ass until he got his approval, but still desperate, desperate for something to fill him and waiting patiently for Dean to let him have this. He wanted it. And he said... He said he could take it. And Dean trusted him. Even if he didn't fully trust himself.

A breath hissed through his teeth. He nodded.

Cas sighed with relief and gripped Dean a little tighter, steadying him, raising up, and then lowering down. Dean's head hit Cas' hole, and there was a second when it didn't go in--and then Cas stretched and _moaned_ like a fucking porn star and sank down slow, enveloping Dean inch by inch, until his ass was right up against Dean's balls, and his dick was wrapped in this smooth, hot stretch of skin that, for the first time in a really, really long time, was only, entirely, completely pleasure. He shut his eyes and gripped Cas' thighs and held himself still. Still. Still. _Shit, fuck, stay still, Winchester!_

Cas sighed and breathed and _grinded_ a little, but mostly let himself sit and wait and squeeze from time to time as he adjusted. And then he bounced shallowly, likes he was testing the waters, and Dean grunted. _Don't move, don't move, don't move._ And then Cas did it again and seemed to like how it felt because he pushed up to nearly the tip of Dean's cock, slammed back down, and made pleased little whimpers while Dean _growled._ "I'm good," he said, his hips rolling, letting Dean's cock shift, stir up Cas' insides. "F-Fuck me." Dean eyes opened black, and Cas ran his fingers through his own hair, falling on Dean's cock again. "Fuck me, Dean."

Dean's fingers dug in Cas skin. He planted his feet and thrust up, and Cas moaned his pleaure, arching back even more. They started moving together, Cas pushing up as Dean fell down, and then the two of them slamming together again. Dean couldn't seem to control himself or his black eyes as he stared up at Cas, writhing on top of him.

He fucked up into that tight wet heat, and it felt good, it felt _amazing,_ but what was making him swell thicker and gasp and make this desperate keening sound he'd never heard in his throat before, was Cas. Cas on top of him, sliding up and down on his cock, his head thrown back, neck taut, shoulders round and tense. A bead of sweat dripped down his throat. His own hands crawled sensuously over his body, down the small bruise Dean had left on his collarbone, brushing over his nipples and squeezing one, rubbing out his own pleasure in his skin while his thighs pulsed and tensed and relaxed and tensed all over again as he rode Dean. All the while, his cock hung heavy, turning red and purple and dripping and throbbing between them, gorgeous and completely untouched.

It was the hottest think he had ever seen in his life.

"Nng, _god,_ I love you." The words came out before he put any thought behind them, and Cas' eyes popped open. They were a little glazy with pleasure, but he smiled down at him as he rocked on top of him.

"L-Love you," he whispered, voice hoarse and soft, like he could barely form words.

"You're driving me up the wall, Cas-- _god in heaven_ \--" he punctuated his curse with a thrust into the walls surrounding him, and he could swear he felt them _throb_ with him.

" _Uhn, D-Dean_ ," and his name sounded like the dirtest word in Cas' vocabulary. And Cas was touching his own body, scratching through his hair, rubbing down his chest, but never once touching his cock, taking his pleasure, all of his pleasure entirely from Dean's cock. Christ, this man might be human, but he sure as hell wasn't of this earth.

"You're fucking gorgeous, Cas," Dean babbled. "You're so hot, so _t-tight_ 'n perfect for me." With his eyes screwed shut, that sinful mouth open and moaning, his neck taught, his throat working, Cas was a _god,_ riding Dean. His hips stuttered, and he slammed down a little harder, and Dean couldn't've kept his mouth shut if he wanted to. "Look at you, you're fucking shoulders so round and strong, _nng._ And the flush on your skin and your fucking _th-thighs--Christ,_ your gorgeous cock, so hard for me, so pretty and purple and leaking, Cas, _Mmng_ . You're so hot, Cas, so hot, so hot, the hottest fucking th-thing I've ever seen in my _life."_

_"Deeaaan,"_ And there it was again, the strongest curse that left Cas' mouth, succeeded by moans and his tight thighs quivering as he rose up and fell down again and again and again, with these _uhn, uhn, uhn_ , sounds. His hole squeezed around Dean, and curses dripped in the air--

\-- _uck, holy fucking chr--Cas_.

"You drive me _wild,_ you're so good C-Cas, s-so good, so good, so good--"

He finally opened his eyes again and looked down at Dean, and they were dark, so dark, almost as Dark as Dean's, the blue ridge thinning even as he looked down at him, and he pushed down on Dean so he could rise up high, slam down _harder--_

_Fucking_ \--Dean's dick was throbbing, and he was going to come, he was going to--

"'M really, _r-really_ close, Cas." His muscles coiled, tight, trying to prevent himself from shooting off right the fuck now.

_"Hnngh,_ m-me t-too," he stuttered, his voice still broken, the words coming out in pants and huffs as his eyes slipped shut again and he reveled in the pleasure he eked from Dean's body. And Dean was so close, he lifted a hand to grasp Cas' cock, but Cas' hand shot out and snatched his wrist from the air. "N-No," he breathed. Dean met his eyes with a question because he didn't understand, he didn't get, he--

Dean's thrusting got a little harder, a little out of sync when his fucked out thoughts caught up with him. "You mean, you can -- o-on my c-cock?" His teeth chattered, his words choppy, but Cas' lips curled up, his eyes lidded, and he nodded at Dean.

"Come on your cock."

As if his cock wasn't already throbbing. Dean moaned loud and long, and fucked Cas harder, gritting his teeth against the pleasure. He needed to last, he needed to hang on, h _e needed to make Cas come like this_.

Cas whined, clearly appreciating the ardency and swaying a little every time he slammed back down. They lost their rhythm, but they were so close, _so close_ , neither of them cared. Dean slid his hands up Cas' waist and made little circles in his skin with his thumbs, and it was like he himself could feel the pleasure through Cas' skin, the heavy cock in his ass, shoving in so good, hitting all the best places, pleasure brushed in his skin everywhere his hands had trailed, everywhere he was touching now, like his entire body was oversensitized, and each brush of Dean's thumbs on Cas waist sent springs and coils of pleasure in Castiel's stomach.

Dean moaned, his hips jerked, and Cas _came._ His entire body tensed. His face flushed, his mouth gaped on a silent cry, and white spurted from his purple cock in desperate streaks, painting his own stomach along with Dean's. All the while during this, he _squeezed,_ and that coupled with Cas' face was everything Dean needed. He came with a shuddering cry, grinding up into that perfect ass and emptying himself inside.

Cas fell over him, lying on top of him with Dean's dick still up his ass and the cum between their bodies. And Dean didn't mind at all. He didn't have the state of mind to care. His arms came up and weakly draped around him. His Cas. His lover. His angel. And he held him, like Cas had held him in his sleep the night before.

They didn't move, not for a long, long time, though Dean did eventually wave a hand a clean up their mess. They stayed together and still, panting against each other, content to hold each other, Cas' nose just under Dean's chin, and feel the soft patterns they brushed into each other's skin.

"Love you," Cas murmured eventually.

Happiness more intense than he deserved filled Dean up. He threaded his fingers through Cas' hair and kissed the top of his head. "Love you back," Dean whispered. "So much."

With those words, and with Cas lying flush along him, chest to chest, his breath warming Dean's neck, the decision he was struggling with last night was made.

 

 

**Epilogue**

 

  
"Are you sure you'll be ok?"

Sam's eyes softened at Dean's question. He reached out a hand and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

"Dean, it's not like you're leaving me. You're still gonna be hunting, and I'd take a jacked up human Dean Winchester over ten demons any day."

Dean let himself smile a little because he knew the worry was still there in his eyes. It wouldn't be the same, he knew. Sure, there were lots of human hunters, but he wouldn't be hunting as much. He'd have a day job and he'd live with Cas and, honestly, he'd probably be more like Bobby than a regular hunter, helping when needed but not... out there. "It'll be... It'll be different."

"Dean, I know," Sam replied. "And I'll miss... _this_ with you a lot," he said, waving a hand between them, "but you should know I'd never hold you back from what makes you happy. You deserve the apple pie life, even if--" he rubbed the back of his head. "--even if it's as a human."

"I just, I need to be with him, Sammy."

Sam tilted his chin, understanding in every line of his face. "I know you do."

The only thing he really regretted was letting Sam go out there, alone. He wished he could just bring him with him. "Maybe one day you'll find an angel for yourself and join me," Dean joked.

Sam huffed out a laugh and lifted a shoulder. "Maybe I will. Who knows?"

Sam lifted his mouth in a sad little smile, and Dean's throat felt tight and uncomfortable. As one they came together, their arms went around each other, and they hugged each other, gripping one another tightly. Dean let himself stay there, for just a minute, with his brother, before he pushed back, breathing deep. "Okay. Okay." He rolled up his sleeve, stepping back towards the chair in the middle of the room. "Let's do this."

"Yeah. Okay, yeah." Sam licked his lips and took the already prepared syringe full of blood. He tapped it against the counter, making sure there were no bubbles and came towards Dean. He had the needle at Dean's arm when he stopped and took a breath. "Before I do this, I have to ask, you know I have to ask, just one more time..." He stared deep in Dean's eyes. "Are you really fucking sure?"

_You're different. You're beautiful_. Dean remembered what Cas had said the first time they had sex, such a long time ago. When Dean wrapped his arms around his chest as if that would block Castiel's angel vision, Cas pressed a hand to Dean's arm, stared at him at like he was something _more,_ and told him he wasn't like other demons. He was so much better.

Dean didn't just feel like he was ready, he felt like he was _meant_ for this, and it just took Cas showing him, again and again and again, to open his eyes. Cas. His Cas. Dean leveled his gaze on Sam. And smiled.

"I've never been more sure of anything."

 


End file.
